Tuesday 29 September 2015

Growing old...




As a child I thought that all old people were old and sick. The only old people that I knew then were my grandparents and yes, they often had to go to the hospital. Meanwhile, my own parents are grandparents now and I think their grandchildren also have the same idea of old people like me at their age. My father (79) has to go regularly with serious health problems to the hospital and my mother (69) recently got a new hip. Sometimes it's hard to see how they change.

Fortunately, I now know that aging also can go in another way. My girlfriend C. (86) is as healthy as a fish. She was 60 when I met her, I had just turned 20.  When I called her back then and she didn't answer the phone, I was alway worried that something was wrong with her health. Now I know better, C. will become at least one hundred.

I once asked C. whether it's nice to be old. According to C. she feels mentally no different than when she was 40 or 50. For example, she is still madly in love and she still has the same needs and desires as forty years ago. That's why she finds it confronting to see that her face and body prove that she has indeed become old. According to C. it is however the hardest part of aging when you are overcome by the realization that many of your peers deceased. Then you also have to deal with loneliness, especially if you have no family and children around.

Two friends of mine became this year terminally ill. One of them even died recentlyThose are things that touch me emotionally and that set me thinking. Of course I am not unique in that. Philosopher and psychiatrist Damien Denys recently told at a Dutch TV program that usually between your 40th and 50th you become aware of your own mortality through such events. Apparently it works like this. But you can also learn a lot from this insight.

For example, that a good health must not be taken for granted and that you should cherish this. You need good care of yourself. That's why I write regularly on this blog about this topic. But the most important lesson is that you should enjoy every day and you should do the things you enjoy. It is also important that you remain a part of society and that you create a good social network. Of the 4.1 million people over 55 in the Netherlands feels more than 1 million lonely. So that means that my girlfriend C. is not the only one who often feel lonely.

That you build a good pension for your retirement is obviously hugely important, but without good health and a pleasant social network, your money is a lot less valuable.


Whether you are moving to Switzerland...


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Photo: Anne Verhoijsen - Beyond time (2008) - via het Dolhuys

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